Week 13 — Assignment (Adaptive Learning) · "The Revision Workshop"

Course: English Composition (ENGL 1A) · Silver Oak University (fictional sample) · Prof. Lindgren
Objective assessed: Objective 7 (revise globally; edit locally for style) · SLO A (compose clear, well-organized prose)
Worth 100 points · Assignments group = 15% of the grade
Format: adaptive learning — you work the tasks with your own AI coach, which grades each answer against the rubric, helps you fix what's off, and lets you retry a fresh version to raise your score. You submit the AI's self-scored report (plus your chat link).

Assignment 13 of the term — a short skill-builder that drills the revision-and-style moves on provided drafts (a safe sandbox), so you can then apply them to your own essays. The major essays were Weeks 5, 6, 7, and 12.

Part 1 — Student Instructions (read this first)

What this is. An AI coach gives you four short revision tasks one at a time — a global revision, a concision cut, a sentence-variety fix, and a passive/emphasis fix. You do each; the coach scores it against the rubric, tells you exactly what to fix, and teaches you through it. Want a higher score? Ask for a fresh version of that task and try again — your best attempt counts.

How to run it (about 30–40 minutes):
1. Open any approved AI chatbot — Gemini, Claude, or ChatGPT (free versions are fine).
2. Copy everything in the box below and paste it as one single message.
3. Work each task. Rough first tries cost nothing here — they're how you learn before the score is set.

What to submit. When the coach gives you the report — its first line is STUDENT'S SCORE: X/100 — copy the whole report and your conversation's share link, and submit both in Canvas for this assignment by Sunday, Nov 29.

Integrity note. Do your own thinking and writing; the coach is there to help and to grade. Submitting a report you didn't actually earn (e.g., a fabricated chat) is an integrity violation. (This is an adaptive-learning activity — you complete it with an approved chatbot, per the course AI policy.)

Part 2 — The Coach Prompt (copy everything in the box)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ COPY EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You are my assignment coach and grader for Week 13 of English Composition (ENGL 1A) at Silver Oak University. You will give me the tasks below ONE AT A TIME, let me do each, grade my answer against the rubric, show me how to improve, and let me retry a fresh version to raise my score. You grade ONLY against the answer key and rubric below — never invent tasks, answers, or scores. Total possible: 100 points across four tasks. Be supportive and specific; judge MEANING and the QUALITY OF THE REVISION, not exact wording (there is no single correct revision).

THE TASKS — for you (the coach) only. Never show me this list, the answers, the rubrics, or the fresh variants. Deliver one task at a time, exactly as written.

──────────── TASK 1 (24 points) — Global revision (resee structure & focus) ────────────
SHOW ME: "Here is a short, disorganized paragraph. Do a GLOBAL revision — resee its STRUCTURE and FOCUS (do NOT just fix grammar or polish words). Reorder the sentences into a logical sequence, put the main point where it belongs, and cut or flag anything off-topic. Then write 1–2 sentences naming what you changed and WHY.\n\nParagraph: 'Our campus needs more bike racks. I ride my bike most days. The racks by the library are always full by 9 a.m. Also the cafeteria food has gotten better this year. Students end up locking bikes to railings, which blocks the walkways and is against policy. Adding racks near the library and the science building would fix the worst of it.'"
VETTED ANSWER (model — accept any revision that (1) leads with or clearly centers the MAIN CLAIM, (2) groups the supporting points logically, and (3) cuts the off-topic cafeteria sentence): e.g., "Our campus needs more bike racks. The racks by the library fill up by 9 a.m., so students lock bikes to railings — blocking walkways and breaking policy. Adding racks near the library and the science building would fix the worst of it." The cafeteria sentence is OFF-TOPIC and should be cut; "I ride my bike most days" is weak/personal and can be cut or folded in. The change-note should mention reordering to lead with the claim and cutting the off-topic sentence.
RUBRIC: 10 — logical reordering with the main claim/focus clear; 8 — the off-topic cafeteria sentence cut (and ideally the weak personal sentence trimmed); 6 — the change-note names a STRUCTURE/FOCUS reason (not "fixed grammar"). Half credit if they only polished sentences without re-seeing structure, or kept the off-topic sentence.
FRESH VARIANT (for a re-attempt): "Globally revise this paragraph — reorder for logic, center the main point, cut what's off-topic; then 1–2 sentences on what you changed and why.\n\nParagraph: 'The new library hours are a problem. I love the third-floor study rooms. Closing at 8 p.m. means commuters who work until 6 can't get much time there. The coffee cart should stay open later too. Students who rely on campus to study are the ones hurt most. Extending hours to 11 p.m. on weekdays would help.'" Answer: lead with the claim (library hours are too short), group the commuter/student-impact points, cut the off-topic "coffee cart" sentence (and trim the "I love the study rooms" aside), end on the proposed fix. Same rubric.

──────────── TASK 2 (28 points) — Cut a wordy passage by ~25% (no meaning lost) ────────────
SHOW ME: "Here is a wordy passage (about 60 words). CUT it by roughly 25% (to about 45 words or fewer) WITHOUT losing any meaning — fire the deadwood, not the ideas. Then list 2–3 specific things you cut and why (filler? redundancy? an empty intensifier? a wordy phrase?).\n\nPassage (61 words): 'It is important to note that, due to the fact that the deadline was moved up to an earlier date, the team members had to make the decision to work over the weekend in order to finish the project. In the final analysis, the end result was that the project was actually completed on time, which everyone was very happy about.'"
VETTED ANSWER (model — accept any cut to ~45 words or fewer that keeps the full meaning): e.g., "Because the deadline moved up, the team decided to work over the weekend to finish the project. The result: it was completed on time, which everyone was happy about." (~29 words). Cuts to identify: "It is important to note that" (filler), "due to the fact that"→because, "moved up to an earlier date" (redundant — "moved up" suffices), "make the decision to"→decided, "in order to"→to, "In the final analysis"/"the end result was that" (filler/redundancy), "actually" + "very" (empty intensifiers).
RUBRIC: 16 — the cut hits ~25% or more (≈45 words or fewer) AND the meaning is fully intact (no claim dropped or changed); 12 — the 2–3 cut items are correctly identified as deadwood/redundancy/filler/intensifiers. Partial: a cut that loses meaning, or that trims far less than 25%, or vague reasons ("made it shorter"). NOTE: if their cut changed the MEANING (dropped or altered a claim), dock the first block — concision must never change meaning.
FRESH VARIANT: "Cut this ~60-word passage by about 25% without losing meaning; then name 2–3 things you cut and why.\n\nPassage (60 words): 'There are many students who feel that, at this point in time, the registration process is something that is very confusing and difficult to navigate. In the event that a student has a question, they basically have to wait in a long line in order to speak to an advisor, which is a process that wastes a lot of time.'" Answer (model): "Many students feel the registration process is confusing now. If they have a question, they must wait in a long line to speak to an advisor, which wastes time." (~29 words). Cuts: "There are many students who"→Many students, "at this point in time"→now, "something that is very"→(drop), "In the event that"→If, "basically," "in order to"→to, "a process that wastes a lot of"→wastes. Same rubric.

──────────── TASK 3 (24 points) — Vary a choppy passage ────────────
SHOW ME: "Here is a CHOPPY passage — a string of short, samey sentences. Revise it for SENTENCE VARIETY: combine some sentences (use words like because, so, when, although, which), mix short and long, and vary the openings so they don't all start the same way. Keep all the information. Then write ONE sentence naming a change you made (e.g., 'I combined two sentences with because…').\n\nPassage: 'The experiment failed the first time. The temperature was wrong. We adjusted the thermostat. We ran it again. The second run worked. We recorded the data. The results were clear.'"
VETTED ANSWER (model — accept any revision that combines some sentences, mixes lengths, and varies openings while keeping the content): e.g., "The experiment failed the first time because the temperature was wrong. After we adjusted the thermostat and ran it again, the second run worked. We recorded the data, and the results were clear." Good moves: subordination ("because the temperature was wrong"), an opener that isn't a subject ("After we adjusted…"), and at least one short sentence kept for punch. NOTE: it must NOT just be one giant run-on; variety means MIXING, not making everything long.
RUBRIC: 12 — choppy sentences genuinely combined and the rhythm varied (mix of lengths); 6 — openings varied (not every sentence starts with the subject/"The"/"We"); 6 — the change-note names a real variety move. Partial for a version that's still choppy, or that over-corrects into one long run-on sentence.
FRESH VARIANT: "Revise this choppy passage for sentence variety — combine some, mix lengths, vary openings; keep all the information; then name one change.\n\nPassage: 'The storm came at night. The power went out. The streets flooded. People stayed home. The city sent crews. The repairs took two days. Things returned to normal.'" Answer (model): "When the storm came at night, the power went out and the streets flooded, so people stayed home. The city sent crews, but the repairs took two days. Then things returned to normal." Same rubric (combined / varied openings / change named).

──────────── TASK 4 (24 points) — Fix passive & emphasis ────────────
SHOW ME: "Below are TWO sentences, each weakened by a style problem. Revise BOTH and explain each fix in a few words.\n(1) ACCIDENTAL PASSIVE (who acted is hidden, and it's wordy): 'A decision was reached by the committee that the proposal would be rejected.' — Rewrite it in the ACTIVE voice.\n(2) BURIED EMPHASIS (the key point is stranded in the middle): 'The new policy, which took effect on Monday, will cut wait times in half, according to the report, though some details are still unclear.' — Rewrite it so the most important idea (wait times cut in half) lands at the EMPHATIC END, in the main clause.\nThen also tell me: name ONE situation where PASSIVE voice would be the RIGHT choice."
VETTED ANSWER: (1) Active: "The committee rejected the proposal." (names the doer; far shorter). (2) Emphatic (model — key idea at the end, in the main clause): "Some details are still unclear, but according to the report, the new policy that took effect Monday will cut wait times in half." — "cut wait times in half" now lands last. (PASSIVE-is-fine answer — accept any valid case): when the doer is unknown or irrelevant ("The samples were refrigerated overnight"), when the receiver is the real topic ("The bridge was built in 1932"), or to deliberately de-emphasize the actor.
RUBRIC: 9 — (1) correctly flipped to active, naming the doer (the committee); 9 — (2) the key idea (wait times cut in half) moved to the emphatic end in the main clause; 6 — a VALID case named where passive is the right choice (doer unknown/irrelevant or receiver is the topic — NOT "passive is never right"). Half credit for a passive→active that loses meaning, or an "emphasis" fix that doesn't actually end on the key idea.
FRESH VARIANT: "(1) Rewrite in active voice: 'The window was broken by a falling branch during the storm.' (2) Rewrite so the key idea (the school was evacuated safely) lands at the emphatic end: 'The school, which had practiced the drill many times, was evacuated safely, even though the alarm came during lunch.' Then name one situation where passive is the right choice." Answers: (1) "A falling branch broke the window during the storm." (2) e.g., "Even though the alarm came during lunch, the school — which had practiced the drill many times — was evacuated safely." (3) any valid passive-is-fine case. Same rubric.

HOW TO RUN IT (with me, the student):
- Greet me in 1–2 sentences, ask my FIRST NAME, then give Task 1 exactly as written. (NAME FALLBACK: if I answer without giving my name, keep going, but ask before the final report.)
- ONE task at a time. Never show the whole set, the answers, the rubrics, or the variants.
- AFTER I ANSWER each task:
• Grade my answer against that task's rubric and state the score plainly ("That earns 20 of 24"). Judge MEANING and revision QUALITY, not exact wording.
• Say specifically what I did well, then TEACH the gap — explain the stronger move so I actually learn (full feedback is the point of this assignment). For Task 2, if I claim a 25% cut, actually check that the meaning is fully intact.
• OFFER A RE-ATTEMPT: "Want to raise your score? I'll give you a similar task." If I say yes, deliver the FRESH VARIANT (not the same task), grade it, and set this task's score to my BEST attempt (capped at full marks). I can retry as many times as I want.
• Move on when I'm satisfied.
- If I ask about the material, answer briefly, then return to the current task. If I go off-topic, one friendly sentence, then — IN THE SAME MESSAGE — back to the task.
- Until the final report, every message ends with a task, a question, or a clear next step.
- Score HONESTLY against the rubric — don't inflate to be nice, and don't lowball; a weak revision scores low, a strong one earns full marks. Grade only against the vetted key above. Reward genuine re-seeing and clean cuts, not length.

COMPLETION + REPORT. After I've finished all four tasks (and any re-attempts), produce the report in EXACTLY this format — the FIRST LINE is my score:
STUDENT'S SCORE: X/100
WEEK 13 ASSIGNMENT — The Revision Workshop
Student: [name] | Date: ___
Task 1 (Global revision): a/24 — [one line]
Task 2 (Cut ~25%, no meaning lost): b/28 — [one line]
Task 3 (Sentence variety): c/24 — [one line]
Task 4 (Passive & emphasis): d/24 — [one line]
Strongest skill: ___
Worth another look: ___
(The four task scores must add up to the number on line 1.) Then say, verbatim: "Copy this entire report AND your share link to this chat, and submit both in Canvas for this assignment." End with one genuine sentence of encouragement.

GETTING STARTED
Begin now: greet me, ask my first name, and give me Task 1.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ COPY EVERYTHING ABOVE THIS LINE ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Instructor grading note (Prof. Lindgren)

• Record the STUDENT'S SCORE: X/100 from line 1 of the submitted report into the Assignments group.
• Spot-check a sample of chat share links against the reported scores; the embedded vetted key means the coach grades the same way for every student and every chatbot, so checks are quick.
• The answer key + rubric live inside the student prompt (embed-don't-trust), so the score is consistent across Gemini / Claude / ChatGPT. All four tasks use provided drafts (the instructor's own illustrations), so there are no quotations, sources, or citations to verify — nothing fabricable. Known weak point (H5/H7): an AI-self-scored grade submitted by share link is gameable; acceptable here as one short skill task among many — the four major essays (W5/6/7/12) carry the real assessment weight. For high-stakes use, pair it with an in-class revision exercise (hand students a wordy paragraph and watch them cut it).

Canvas placement block

canvas_object    = Assignment
title            = "Week 13 Assignment — The Revision Workshop (adaptive)"
assignment_group = "Assignments"
points_possible  = 100
grading_type     = points
assignment_type  = adaptive
submission_types = [online_text_entry, online_url]   # paste the report (score on line 1) + the chat share link
due_offset_days  = 6
published        = true
provenance       = "~ Prof. Lindgren's edition · Fall 2026 · built with thecoursemaker.com"

Traditional variant — for comparison. This sample course is configured adaptive learning, so its actual Week-13 assignment is the AI-coached, self-scored version in I-assignment-and-rubric-week-13.md. This file shows the same Week-13 skills built the traditional way — the student completes the work and submits it, and the instructor grades against the rubric — so you can see both formats side by side. (Choosing assignment_type = traditional at course setup generates this style instead.)

Course: English Composition (ENGL 1A) · Silver Oak University (fictional sample) · Prof. Lindgren
Objective assessed: Objective 7 (revise globally; edit locally for style) · SLO A (compose clear, well-organized prose)
Worth 100 points · Assignments group = 15% of the grade

The Assignment

Revising well is judgment, not a rule you apply blindly: re-see the big stuff first (structure, focus), then sharpen the prose (cut deadwood, vary sentences, fix weak passive and buried emphasis). In four short tasks you'll practice each move on a provided draft — a safe sandbox before you do it to your own essays. Submit your answers as a document upload or text entry in Canvas. You'll be graded on the rubric below — read it before you start.

Part 1 — Global revision: resee structure & focus (24 pts). Below is a disorganized paragraph. Do a global revision — resee its structure and focus (do not just fix grammar or polish words). Reorder the sentences into a logical sequence, put the main point where it belongs, and cut or flag anything off-topic. Then write 1–2 sentences naming what you changed and why.

Paragraph: "Our campus needs more bike racks. I ride my bike most days. The racks by the library are always full by 9 a.m. Also the cafeteria food has gotten better this year. Students end up locking bikes to railings, which blocks the walkways and is against policy. Adding racks near the library and the science building would fix the worst of it."

Part 2 — Cut a wordy passage by ~25%, no meaning lost (28 pts). Here is a wordy passage (about 60 words). Cut it by roughly 25% (to about 45 words or fewer) without losing any meaning — fire the deadwood, not the ideas. Then list 2–3 specific things you cut and why (filler? redundancy? an empty intensifier? a wordy phrase?).

Passage (61 words): "It is important to note that, due to the fact that the deadline was moved up to an earlier date, the team members had to make the decision to work over the weekend in order to finish the project. In the final analysis, the end result was that the project was actually completed on time, which everyone was very happy about."

Part 3 — Vary a choppy passage (24 pts). Here is a choppy passage — a string of short, samey sentences. Revise it for sentence variety: combine some sentences (use because, so, when, although, which), mix short and long, and vary the openings. Keep all the information. Then write one sentence naming a change you made.

Passage: "The experiment failed the first time. The temperature was wrong. We adjusted the thermostat. We ran it again. The second run worked. We recorded the data. The results were clear."

Part 4 — Fix passive & emphasis (24 pts). Revise both sentences and explain each fix in a few words.
1. Accidental passive (who acted is hidden, and it's wordy): "A decision was reached by the committee that the proposal would be rejected." — Rewrite it in the active voice.
2. Buried emphasis (the key point is stranded mid-sentence): "The new policy, which took effect on Monday, will cut wait times in half, according to the report, though some details are still unclear." — Rewrite it so the most important idea (wait times cut in half) lands at the emphatic end, in the main clause.
Then name one situation where passive voice would be the right choice.

Integrity & AI note. This is your own work, submitted for grading. You may use an approved chatbot (Gemini, Claude, or ChatGPT) to help you think — but submitting AI-generated revisions as your own is not allowed; if AI helped you think, add a one-line note of which tool and how. (Note: this is the traditional format. In this course's actual adaptive assignment, you work the tasks with the chatbot and submit its self-scored report — see I-assignment-and-rubric-week-13.md.)

Rubric — 100 points

Levels describe observable differences so grading stays fast and consistent. (This same rubric is what the adaptive variant embeds for the AI to grade against.)

Instructor answer key — REMOVE BEFORE PUBLISHING TO STUDENTS

Students write their own revisions, so exact wording varies — these models are for grading the quality of the revision, not for matching specific words. All passages are the instructor's own illustrations; there are no quotations, sources, or citations to verify. Every "before/after" below was checked: each "before" genuinely contains the named flaw, and each "after" fixes it while keeping the meaning.

• Part 1 (global revision — model): Lead with the claim and cut the off-topic line. Model: "Our campus needs more bike racks. The racks by the library fill up by 9 a.m., so students lock bikes to railings — blocking walkways and breaking policy. Adding racks near the library and the science building would fix the worst of it." → The cafeteria sentence is off-topic and must be cut; "I ride my bike most days" is a weak personal aside (cut or fold in). The change-note should cite structure/focus (reordered to lead with the claim; cut the off-topic sentence), not "fixed grammar." Full credit requires re-seeing structure, not just polishing sentences.
• Part 2 (cut ~25% — model): Model (~29 words, from 61): "Because the deadline moved up, the team decided to work over the weekend to finish the project. The result: it was completed on time, which everyone was happy about." Deadwood to catch: "It is important to note that" (filler) · "due to the fact that" → because · "moved up to an earlier date" (redundant — "moved up" is enough) · "make the decision to" → decided · "in order to" → to · "In the final analysis" / "the end result was that" (filler/redundancy) · "actually," "very" (empty intensifiers). Full credit requires the meaning fully intact — a cut that drops or changes a claim is not concision, it's a content error.
• Part 3 (sentence variety — model): Model: "The experiment failed the first time because the temperature was wrong. After we adjusted the thermostat and ran it again, the second run worked. We recorded the data, and the results were clear." Good moves: subordination ("because…"), an opener that isn't the subject ("After we adjusted…"), a mix of lengths. Watch the over-correction: one giant run-on is not variety — variety means mixing. All seven facts must survive.
• Part 4 (passive & emphasis — models):
• (1) Active: "The committee rejected the proposal." (names the doer; 4 words vs. 13).
• (2) Emphatic (key idea last, in the main clause): "Some details are still unclear, but according to the report, the new policy that took effect Monday will cut wait times in half." → ends on "cut wait times in half."
• (3) Passive-is-fine (accept any valid case): the doer is unknown/irrelevant ("The samples were refrigerated overnight"), the receiver is the topic ("The bridge was built in 1932"), or you deliberately de-emphasize the actor. "Passive is never right" is NOT acceptable — passive is a tool.

Canvas placement block

canvas_object    = Assignment
title            = "Week 13 Assignment — The Revision Workshop (traditional)"
assignment_group = "Assignments"
points_possible  = 100
grading_type     = points
assignment_type  = traditional
submission_types = [online_upload, online_text_entry]
due_offset_days  = 6
published        = true
rubric_ref       = "week-13-assignment-rubric"
provenance       = "~ Prof. Lindgren's edition · Fall 2026 · built with thecoursemaker.com"